All's Fair in Love and War
by Eterya
Summary: Neopolitan has an... unconventional way of showing affection. And her girlfriend is totally okay with it. A comedic/romantic one-shot set during some point in time between Volumes 2 and 3. Additional Tags: Yuri.
Neopolitan's target was alone in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for herself and most likely some teammates. After ascertaining nobody else was near, Neo soundlessly slid into the room and took a large chef's knife out of the knife block, feeling the weight of the blade in her hand. This would do nicely.

The green-haired, brown-skinned girl still hadn't noticed Neo; all the better. She was more than a head taller, but that wouldn't change anything, Neo could still cover the girl's mouth with one hand, while the other hand would quickly stab her in – or through, if she had the strength – both kidneys, dispatching her with little struggle.

Three more steps... Two... One... Just as Neo was about to go in for the kill, the girl in front of her just disappeared, and something struck her from behind, a hand slamming her head onto the countertop right next to a plate of nice and crispy bacon. Another hand gripped her right one and twisted it behind her back until the knife fell from her grasp, clattering onto the floor tiles and leaving Neo completely at the mercy of her would-be victim.

Who promptly turned her around to plant an affectionate kiss onto her forehead and pull her into a hug – which Neo reciprocated.

"A good morning to you too, Neo." Emerald smiled. "But how many times do I have to tell you: No assassination attempts before I've had my coffee."

Neo extricated herself from her girlfriend and used her Semblance to conjure the image of a sign in front of her chest reading: _"Right. So sorry."_

" _You're up early."_

"No, you're just late. Want some too?" Neo nodded. "Then you set the table. Be right with you." Neo acquiesced, balancing the plate of bacon while procuring two empty plates, glasses, forks and a bottle of orange juice, and carrying everything to one of the tables in the next room over while Emerald finished the scrambled eggs and some toast.

"There." Emerald added a plate of scrambled eggs, a few slices of toast and her mug of coffee to the table, then dropped into the chair next to Neo.

" _Thanks for the meal."_ With that Neo dug in, and after observing the smaller girl for a split second longer, so did Emerald – until she noticed the two still empty glasses.

"Neo, would you like some orange juice?" Neo nodded and Emerald poured in for both of them, but warily waited for Neo to drink some. When she noticed, the mute girl sweetly smiled at Emerald and took a large, slow sip, exaggeratedly wiping her mouth afterwards.

"Great." Emerald smiled back "Surely you won't mind swapping, right?" Without waiting for an answer she exchanged the two glasses, deliberately bringing the glass to her mouth just where Neo's lips had touched it before with a knowing grin, and Neo giggled, both at the indirect kiss and at Emerald's carefulness.

Well it wasn't that her girlfriend shouldn't be wary of some sort of poison, because she totally should, but Neo most likely wasn't actually going to try any poison any time soon. Not only was it sort of in bad taste, as she had realized, but also the one time Neo had tried, Emerald had caught on way too easily, and it had taken days for her to get all of the almond smell out of her clothes.

And besides, Neo certainly wouldn't poison the food or drink, that was far too simple. The way to go would be coating the outside of Emerald's glass in some nice contact poison. Then again, as demonstrated just now, the taller girl was – rightfully – careful, so if Neo predicted that, she would have banked on Emerald swapping the glasses and poisoned her own, herself being protected by her gloves.

Though Emerald was smart enough that if Neo wasn't careful she'd figure out the double trap and keep her own glass. Unless Neo made her think that was what she – Neo – wanted her to think, so she – Emerald – would suspect the plain trap, or more like a triple trap at that point, and not fall for it. Unless Neo managed to suggest _that_ had been her plan all along and... Quite a beautiful mind game could come out of this.

 _I think I've seen that movie._ There was that scene in some old classic Emerald had made her watch a bit ago that went down just like this. Except the man in black had actually gained an immunity to the poison in question via mithridatism and proceeded to poison _both_ drinks, leaving his would-be-clever victim out-gambitted either way. _Maybe I should try that too._ But gaining that immunity would take a while. Perhaps just use an antidote ahead of time?

"What are you thinking of right now?" Emerald asked as she noticed Neo gazing off in the distance with a light smile around her lips.

" _Oh, nothing."_ Neo tilted her head as she conjured another sign. _"Just remembered a great scene from that one movie we watched."_ "Right."

Emerald continued her meal, and so did Neo, but after a few bites she paused again, inspecting her fork. The prongs were blunt and it looked like it was made from rather cheap metal, a far cry from the chef's knife she'd picked before, much less an actual weapon. But with the right force, applied from the right angle-

"Don't even think about it." Emerald knew her girlfriend's thought process far too well at this point. "There are people present." The green-haired girl pointed over her shoulder at two of the less significant members of the Team JNPR, redheaded Nora Valkyrie half dragging her beleaguered green-clad partner after her, rapidly talking about pancakes, sloth assassins, and rocket-propelled grenades, all over the span of two sentences.

Right, they weren't supposed to arouse suspicion right now, Cinder's orders, the same reason Neo was currently in her black-haired and green-eyed gothic lolita guise, even if she disliked being stuck with the same appearance for too long. And any time she was at Beacon, after being part of Cinder's 'Team' for the last three weeks, definitely constituted 'too long'. Though Emerald kept saying she found the disguise cute. Then again, this was Neo she was talking about, so of course she'd be cute whatever she was wearing.

Or not wearing as the case may be. One recent incident had involved Neo lighting her blouse and skirt on fire when she was not at all trying to plant an incendiary bomb under Emerald's bed, and until the resulting fire was under control and the room cleared of smoke she had been left in nothing but her underwear – and Mercury's jacket after Emerald had threatened him severe bodily harm. And afterwards during their subsequent makeout Neo's hair had still carried the – surprisingly enticing – scent of burnt wood. Good times.

" _What are you thinking of right now?"_

"Just how cute you always look."

Neo giggled. _"Flattery will get you nowhere. ...Except in my pants, possibly."_ She added after a precisely measured pause and Emerald laughed out, almost choking on her food.

"Very funny." she said with a cough. "I will getting back to that, though."

" _Well, I'd hope so. Though that line actually wasn't entirely accurate."_

"Why's that?"

" _Because I'm not wearing any."_

"Wait, what?" Emerald almost did a spit-take, but she just barely caught herself.

" _I mean pants. Because I'm wearing a skirt. Whatever did you think I was saying?"_ Neo smiled at her with a faux innocent expression all but spelling out she knew very well what Emerald had thought.

"...Yeah, let's go with that. That's what I meant."

" _Although I may or may not have 'forgotten' my underwear today too."_ Neo added after another deliberate pause, and this time Emerald did indeed do a spit-take, though most of it went right back into her mug – and over her face.

"Seriously?" She asked, trying to clean herself off with the back of her hand, and Neo just tilted her head with a coy smile.

" _Care to come and check?"_

"You're such a tease sometimes, it's not even funny." Yet Emerald was smiling. "You know I'd love to, but Cinder did tell us to be inconspicuous." The leader of their alleged Team and scheming mastermind had actually been, if not outright supportive, at least very tolerating of the girls' relationship, but Neo had to agree that public makeouts in the common room, right next to the kitchen, during breakfast time, would probably be stretching it a bit. Well, there always was time later, it wasn't like they had anything much to do today.

Speaking of which... "Neo, do you have anything planned for today?"

" _I was thinking of doing some training. Keep in shape, you know."_

"Count me in." Emerald nodded, but then hesitated. "Wait, you're not gonna tamper with the combat simulator and disable all the securities again, are you? Almost being eaten by a hard light Grimm is not something I'm keen on repeating."

" _Again? Wouldn't that be horribly unoriginal? Who do you take me for? You can be sure I'll come up with something, but it's gonna be all new and exciting."_

"Whee. I can't wait." Emerald deadpanned as she finished the last bit of her breakfast and emptied her coffee, reclining in her chair waiting for Neo to finish.

A short moment later she did, and both girls brought their dishes back to kitchen and put them in the washer before returning to their room. On their way back they ran into Mercury, who was even less of a morning person than Emerald, trudging past the two in a vegetative zombie-like state and barely acknowledging Emerald's 'good morning' with an unintelligible grunt.

On the other hand Cinder was already up and awake and plotting the downfall of Beacon. Or maybe ordering shoes or looking at funny cat videos, it was hard to tell just what she was doing on her Scroll all the time. "Good morning," she greeted Emerald and Neo as they entered the Team's dorm.

"Morning, Cinder." Neo just nodded with a little smile.

As usual their leader had been the first one out of bed, after also being the last one in the night before. Sometimes Emerald wondered if Cinder even _needed_ sleep at all; the raven-haired mastermind could appear driven enough Emerald wouldn't hold it past her to forsake such lesser bodily requirements if it would further her goal.

As the two were getting out their weapons and gear, Emerald nudged Neo to get her attention and then started gesturing with her fingers, 'talking' in sign language. *I just realized something. I don't think I've ever actually seen Cinder sleep. Have you?*

Neo shook her head. *I know, right?* Emerald continued *One could almost think she's a vampire or someth-* "I can all but assure you, I am not whatever notion of blood-draining undead you have." Cinder's voice from across the room made Emerald jump, and even Neo flinched a bit. _Crap._

"Oh, hey, Cinder... I didn't know you knew sign, and, uh..."

"And I do sleep too," Cinder continued, ignoring Emerald's stammering "just not as much. As you know, our goal is well worth losing some hours of sleep over."

So Cinder said, but she also had the most to win, powers just short of a goddess'. Emerald was just doing this because she still felt she owed Cinder. Even if the woman had said the debt had been paid, Emerald had nowhere else to go, and she didn't want to be hungry ever again. Besides, their ambush on the Fall Maiden had only been a partial success, so Emerald's pride demanded at the very least she'd stick around until she'd helped put that matter right for good.

As for Neo, she was in this on the currently locked-up Torchwick's behalf, who had left her a message when Emerald and Mercury 'apprehended' him in the wake of what had simply been dubbed the 'Breach'. She was more or less in this for fun and profit – literally; the petite girl seemed to enjoy combat and violence maybe just a bit much. But Emerald wouldn't have her any other way.

"...If you say so."

"I do say so. And next time you two try to resort to sign language for secrecy, you'd be well advised to make sure in fact no one else present speaks it."

Neo nodded. *But Mercury doesn't, does he?*

"No."

"Well, that's something," Emerald said "Let's go, Neo."

"Where are you two off to?"

"Just doing some training."

"Very well. There's nothing for you to do today, so enjoy yourselves."

*We will.*

Neo had to admit Cinder speaking sign was certainly convenient, because by now she was so practiced in sign it felt just like talking, unlike using her Semblance, which was closer to writing. However Neo also noted how Cinder had emphatically not mentioned this fact during her initial negotiations with Roman and Neo, when the two had been discussing in sign. _...Well played._

"What's so funny?" Emerald asked, noticing Neo's chuckle.

" _I just didn't know Cinder spoke sign."_ Emerald was a quick reader, so for larger amounts of text if they didn't care about onlookers – or sometimes specifically to allow anyone else to take part in the conversation – Neo kept to using her Semblance and just spell out what she wanted to say. This also lead to their talks in sign feeling a bit more intimate, an interesting bonus. _"It's gonna be handy to talk, but harder to keep things from her."_

Emerald wouldn't even consider keeping anything from Cinder, and she in fact doubted it was even possible, but Neo, just like Torchwick, was more of a 'contractor', and only working with Cinder for her own gains. Still it didn't strike Emerald as particularly wise to keep anything behind Cinder's back. "I don't really think you _want_ to keep anything from her. Cinder knows like everything anyways."

" _Maybe about you, but"_ *my associate and I have several venues of income and* _"she doesn't have to know everything about us."_ Emerald was momentarily thrown off by Neo seamlessly transitioning between her modes of communication, but that was something she would do sometimes, after all it's hard to lower your voice when you're talking via text.

"Sure." Emerald fully believed Cinder knew everything about the two criminals she thought there was to know, but she wasn't gonna argue that point. Actually... 'several venues'... She wondered if Roman was hiring, it'd be somewhere to go once her role as a Haven student was over, and better yet, she'd be able to stay close to her girlfriend. She'd definitely have to ask Neo at some point.

"There we are." They arrived at one of the training rooms that, as usual at this time of the day, was empty, and Emerald opened it with her Scroll. Neo went straight for the controls to amp up the difficulty, but this time Emerald kept looking over her shoulder to make sure everything stayed in non-hazardous parameters – barely.

"C'mon, we can fit a Deathstalker in there, it's supposed to be a challenge after all, nothing comes from nothing."

*There. Satisfied?*

"Very much so, let's go. Oh, and Neo?"

"Hm?"

"Try not to 'accidentally' attack me in there. I look nothing like a Beowolf, and I'm not gonna buy that excuse again."

* * *

Their training went over well, except for the one instance of Neo bumping into Emerald and almost pushing her right into an attacking Ursa because she 'tripped'. The safeties were on, so it's not like she actually could've gotten hurt, but Emerald still wasn't buying it. Thought that did nothing to deter her from rather deeply kissing Neo once they had left the simulator, nor from the two showering together to 'save warm water'. Not that Cinder minded either way, and Mercury just didn't care.

The two had spent hours in the combat sim, and combined with their very long-lasting 'shower', and Neo becoming a bit too enticed by Mercury's straight razor – why the hell did he use a thing like that anyways? –, by the time they were actually cleaned up, it was almost time for lunch again.

There was no real point in starting anything before then, so they played a few rounds of some brainless fighting game with Mercury, which mostly ended up with either Neo or Mercury walking over the other two while hardly taking a hit. Unless someone got lucky and randomly got one of the OP powerups, in which case they were doing the walking, but ultimately the gray-haired boy won out over Neo by a handful of points, with Emerald way at the bottom.

"Stupid game," Emerald muttered as the three made their way to the dining hall, Cinder absent as usual. "Stupid overpowered Shoryuken. Broken as fuck."

"Oh, it's far from broken," Mercury grinned "There exists a counter. You're just too bad to use it."

"Yeah, right. That one weird trick with that one weird move no one ever uses."

"Well, maybe you should have been using it, you might have won once in a while."

"I did win! More than once."

"...Twice."

"Three times."

"Two times, that other one doesn't count, the bomb just spawned right on top of me just as I was attacking."

"Sucks for you, but I still won, isn't that right, Neo?"

Neo nodded and Mercury protested, "That hardly counts, of course she'd be on your side."

"Well, duh. Deal with it."

"What-ever."

As Mercury fell silent Neo started signing to Emerald *You still should practice this game a bit, you do kinda suck at it. Though Mercury's face when you did beat him was priceless.*

*How am I supposed to become good when all you two do is stomp me 99% of the time?*

*You'll learn eventually.*

*Yeah, right.*

"You two do know it's impolite to talk like this when there's people around who can't understand sign?"

"Yes." *I still think that Shoryuken move is way too strong, that so-called counter doesn't even work half the time when I try to use it.*

*That's because you're messing up the timing. The window is pretty strict, I can show you later.*

*It doesn't even matter, it's just a game. And besides, you beating Mercury is good enough.*

*Well if you say so.* _"Hurry up, both of you, I'm starving."_

* * *

Ultimately Emerald and Neo elected to finish lunch early as a large-scale food fight erupted in the dining hall, while Mercury stayed to "join in on the fun". Arriving at their room, Neo swiped her Scroll past the scanner and gestured for Emerald to enter. The green-haired girl was about to open the door when she hesitated. _Hang on..._ "You first. I insist." Emerald wasn't just being needlessly polite, she very much remembered the time Neo had booby-trapped the dorm during lunch break and Emerald had almost lost an eye to a claymore mine aimed right at the door.

With a smile Neo opened the door and entered, and after a second of nothing exploding or shooting at her, Emerald followed. Then again, Neo had been with Emerald pretty much all day, so she wouldn't even had any opportunity to plant anything in their room this time. But it wasn't like being careful ever hurt, quite the opposite, especially with a girlfriend such as hers. This train of thought – ironically about caution, no less – momentarily distracted Emerald, and she almost missed the baseball bat Neo swung at her head from behind the door.

Emerald just barely ducked to the sound of the wooden bat impacting the wooden door, then lurched forward to tackle Neo, striking her shoulder against the smaller girl's midsection and wrapping both arms around her. Thanks to her relatively bigger weight and height Emerald easily overpowered Neo, pushing her backwards and even lifting her off her feat for a moment, before throwing the both of them onto the nearest bed. Emerald quickly moved to pin both of Neo's arms, straddling her as she let the baseball bat drop to the ground with a clattering sound.

"Nice try." Emerald grinned down at her girlfriend completely at her mercy – well, not actually, but if she got beaten, she'd play the part –, panting slightly. "But not good enough." Neo just tilted her head, grinning back, the smallest hint of a chuckle audible.

A moment later Emerald was kissing her, their lips hungrily interlocked and their tongues playing with each other. Emerald tasted like the chocolate cake she'd just had for desert, but there also was the trace of mint her lips always seemed to carry. She wrapped her arms around Neo, one around her back, the other grasping her head, freeing Neo's arms. The smaller girl similarly returned the embrace as the two rolled onto their side, however one of her hands instead wandered to the red-eyed girl's chest and reached into her conveniently open top which she of course wasn't wearing a bra under, and began caressing her left breast.

Emerald's breath intensified as she pulled back for a moment, a thin trail of saliva still connecting the girls' lips. As she renewed the kiss with even more passion, her hand traced down Neo's side to her leg and past her skirt, then to the inside of her thigh and up again, no doubt striving to verify her earlier claim about a lack of underwear.

"Seriously, you two? Get a room." However before she get to that point, the two were interrupted by an irritated voice.

Muttering a curse Emerald broke off the kiss and turned towards the intruder. "We _are_ in a room, Mercury. What the fuck do you want?"

"Maybe for you to close the door. And hang a tie on it or something." _Oops._ They had indeed left the door wide open. "Also you're on my bed. Don't you have your own?"

"We just weren't paying attention, deal with it. Also, those are beds in coed dorms, in a Hunters' academy. Don't you seriously think they're seen far worse than some girls making out on them?"

"...I think I'm gonna sleep on the floor from now on."

"Great, then do that, and leave us alone. We're kind of in the middle of something." They had stopped actively making out, but neither of the girls was withdrawing her hands, fully intending to continue, and paying Mercury only enough mind to make him go away.

"Really?" Mercury sighed "One could almost think you're a bunch of horny teenagers who- ...Oh wait."

Emerald frowned. "Cut it, or I'm gonna ask Neo to stab you. In the face."

"Because you couldn't take me yourself?"

"Because I'm sure she'd enjoy it a lot more."

" _That I would."_

"As much as I believe you would, I'm afraid I can't allow that, I still have use for him." _Of course_ Cinder had to show up just now too. "Also he's right, you should close the door at least, there's bound to be someone taking offense otherwise, even if you're technically in your room."

" _What a bunch of prudes."_

"Totally." Emerald was determined to not let anyone get in the way of some quality time with her girlfriend right now. "We get it, lock the door next time."

"Also get off my bed."

"And totally do it on Mercury's bed. Can we go on now?"

"Whatever. I'll be in the simulator." Without a further word Mercury turned around and left.

"I will leave you to it. But do remember to close the door next time. And try to keep the volume down."

"I said I was sorry about that!" One time when Neo had been really good Emerald had... climaxed rather loudly, much to her later embarrassment. But the things the ice-cream-colored girl could do with her tongue...

Cinder left the room, two clicks signifying the door was locked, and the two girls turned back to each other. "Now, where were we?"

" _I believe we were just about to get to the fun part."_

* * *

After the two finished their 'activities' without further interruptions – Emerald didn't count Neo's weak attempt at strangling her as they were both lying on the bed completely drained, especially as it led to another go for both of them –, they decided to go out and enjoy the pleasant afternoon sun. Both of them got cleaned up, dressed, Neo reapplying her disguise that had predictably slipped at some point, and headed out.

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating ice cream and leisurely strolling through Vale, doing nothing in particular. Neo regaled Emerald by pointing out some supposedly clean, upstanding businesses that she had learned through her work with Roman were actually just fronts or otherwise hiding seedier secondary establishments, and the mint-haired girl in turn shared some of her more adventurous thieveries and other stories from before she had come to work for Cinder, and good fun was had by all – except probably some careless tourists Emerald relieved of their wallets, not as much because she really needed the money, but because she could and to stay in practice.

As the sun slowly started to set, the two girls made their way back to Beacon, Neo leading them through a beautiful park, approaching the school from the back, and Emerald noted how the park's further reaches seemed like a pretty good place to get some privacy, at least as long as the weather was nice.

Actually... If it stayed like this, she should totally take Neo here to have a picnic, as well as a 'picnic'. I.e. sex. Whose idea had it been to always refer to it via weird euphemisms? Though she would have to make sure to always keep an eye on her girlfriend, after all out in the woods no one could hear you scream. Or something like that.

Neo nudged Emerald's side to get her attention. _"A penny for your thoughts."_

"I was just thinking about something nice we could do tomorrow, if the weather stays like this."

" _I was thinking how easy these woods make it to dispose of a body, but I'm sure your idea is great too."_

Knowing Neo she probably had made use of this property a few times before, but Emerald did not intend to join the number. "It's gonna be great. Almost as great as if you could manage to not try to murder me during that time."

" _I'll try, but I can't promise anything. Besides, how am I supposed to make sure you stay sharp otherwise?"_

"You're a paranoid lunatic." Emerald grinned and Neo tilted her head with a smile.

*Totally am. And you know you love me.*

*That I do.*

They paused their walk as Neo threw her arms around Emerald to pull her into a brief, passionate kiss before continuing. _"This doesn't mean I'm gonna stop, though, just to be clear."_

"I know." And to be honest, Emerald wouldn't have it any other way.

They made their way to the dining hall, mixing with the other students coming and going, and only securing two chairs next to each other at the far end of the hall. It was about prime time for dinner, so the hall was completely packed, and appropriately loud. Times like these were when speaking sign became really convenient, as it allowed the two to easily talk over – or more like sideways past – the noise.

"Hey, that looks interesting. What are you two doing?" The girl sitting across from them had observed their conversation and butted in.

Looking up, Emerald identified her as Nora Valkyrie, physical powerhouse but unrefined, and otherwise unremarkable, except for the fact she was a teammate of the 'Invincible Girl' Pyrrha Nikos.

"We're talking in sign." she explained "With the volume around here, it's just way convenient."

"Sign language. That's cool. I'm Nora, by the way."

"Emerald. We're from Haven."

"Got it. What about you?" Nora turned to Neo. "Cat got your tongue? Don't worry, I'm not gonna bite."

"Don't bother, she's mute. That's Neo, she's on my Team."

"Funny," Nora tilted her head. "Yang told me of another short, mute girl she ended up fighting a little bit back, just before the 'Breach' incident."

Emerald and Neo exchanged a brief glance. "Yeah, funny. But you'd be surprised. Mutism is a far more common affliction than most realize. Most sufferers manage to talk just a little, so you only perceive them as stuttering, awkward or rude."

"No way! Really? Sorry, I didn't want to be insensitive." Neo just smiled at her girlfriend messing with the redhead so easily, which Nora instead took to mean 'no offense taken' and immediately went on "Hm, Ren is pretty silent a lot of the time too, I wonder if he's got some sort of mutalism as well. I should go and ask him. See you!" With that the loud girl all but jumped up and rushed out of the hall as Neo giggled and gave Emerald a peck on the cheek.

*You're getting better at this.*

*I learn from the best.* Trolling people, and especially doing it elegantly, was a fine art, and Neo had to admit her girlfriend was a quick learner indeed, even if she tended to be a bit more sharp-tongued compared to Neo's own mocking smugness.

After dinner the two returned to their room, to find Mercury on his bed playing video games and Cinder reading a large, leather-bound book. "Welcome back. Did you two have fun?" Cinder greeted them as they entered.

"Yeah."

" _We did."_

"By the way, Neo, the bear trap you set under Emerald's pillow went off early."

" _My bad. I'll be more careful next time."_

"I almost lost a finger!" Mercury added from the side.

"What the hell were you doing with my pillow in the first place?!"

"Swapping it with mine, because you made out on my bed."

"Do you think we didn't make out on my bed numerous times already?"

"I should probably just burn it all, then."

"Please don't," Cinder said "Neo only set the room on fire a few days ago. Another so soon might be suspicious. Also I really do wish you would stop trying to murder Emerald, what if you succeed some day? I still have use for her."

"She doesn't mean it, that's just how Neo is. If anything, it's a sign she really loves me."

Neo had explained as much to her a while back. Starting shortly after the two had gotten together, when Neo had tried to sneak up on Emerald and stab her as she was lying on her bed reading a book. Of course she'd failed, and after Emerald disarmed her, the whole thing had turned into a rather hot makeout session, as these attempts frequently tended to, so Emerald honestly didn't mind too much.

" _Exactly. And besides, if I ever manage to get her, she was getting sloppy and you should've been getting a new minion anyways."_

"Hey, I'm not a minion!"

"You keep telling yourself that, minion." Mercury smirked.

*Doesn't he realize he's just as much a minion?* Neo signed.

*Guess not. ...Actually, neither of us is a minion.*

*Then what? You don't get paid, do you?*

"You know, there are non-impaired people present, so how about you talk in a way we can understand too?"

Nevermind that Mercury's prostheses probably qualified him as 'impaired' too. "Oh, I'm so sorry it's none of your business. And besides, if you think a little, I'm sure you'll figure out some of the signs. Like this one." Emerald held out a closed hand, extending the middle finger into a rude gesture.

"Fine, be that way." Mercury shrugged and returned to his video game while Neo giggled and gave Emerald a quick kiss on the lips.

*Nice one.*

*Thanks, babe.*

*Come with me, I know a cool place.*

"And just where do you think you're going?"

" _Somewhere. Don't worry, we're not gonna cause trouble."_ Obviously this was not the kind of answer Cinder wanted, but it was all Neo was willing to give her. Unlike her girlfriend or the gray-haired minion she wasn't working with the woman for a, however real or imagined, debt, but solely for her own ends. It really didn't concern Cinder what Neo was doing at all times, nor her girlfriend. And besides, in a way Neo enjoyed defying the control freak just a little bit, solely because she could. _"Later."_ With a wave Neo pulled Emerald after her, then closed the door behind them.

"Where are we going?"

" _Somewhere."_

"That's not an answer."

" _You'll see."_ This time the non-answers were solely to surprise Emerald as Neo led her through Beacon, up multiple stairways and through several hallways before reaching a long spiral staircase, exiting onto the flat roof of one of the towers.

" _Check out the view, pretty cool, huh?"_ Emerald could see almost the entirety of Vale, an illuminated sea of windows, street lanterns and neon signs, while the forest of Forever Fall was practically as black as the night, she had to admit it was quite neat, especially now in the dark.

"Sure. Is that why we're here?"

"No. L-Look up."

Emerald had been way surprised the first time Neo had actually spoken to her, weeks after they'd become a couple. As it turned out, the ice-cream-colored girl could physically talk just fine, but she was suffering from selective mutism, and the only people she could talk to were those she truly liked and trusted, a list that currently included exactly Emerald and Roman Torchwick. Even then she only felt comfortable speaking when she was absolutely positive there was no one else around – like now. And still she only chose to sometimes, and Emerald had quickly learned to appreciate these moments as particularly intimate.

Following Neo's example Emerald looked up, gazing into a truly stunning night sky. The tower was one of the highest around and the moon was just starting to rise, so as long as she wasn't looking in the direction of the eponymous beacon of the headmaster's office behind her, there were absolutely no light sources to distract her, allowing Emerald to see far more stars than she normally would. The entire sky was like a sea of countless lights among the dark void, and why was this making her all poetic and stuff? Emerald recognized a handful of constellations, but more notably, she also could clearly make out the hazy white band of light that was their entire galaxy.

"Beautiful, i-isn't it?" Neo asked with an almost dreamy voice and Emerald nodded.

"Yeah." She stood behind Neo, gently wrapping her arms around the petite girl. "Almost as beautiful as you are."

Neo giggled. "That's so cheesy."

"It's the truth."

They just stood there for however many moments, simply enjoying each other's closeness. But eventually Emerald's position got a little uncomfortable, so she guided Neo to the edge of the tower and they sat down, Emerald leaning against the wall, holding her girlfriend in her lap, who in turn rested her head against Emerald's chest.

"Say," Emerald broke the silence, "what Cinder asked earlier, what if your attempts on my life succeed one day? I don't know, I trip up, or didn't have my coffee, or any other unlucky circumstance. Would you actually go through with it?" _Would you actually kill the girl who loves you?_

"...No. I do this exactly so none of it will actually happen to you. Where I grew up- I... I don't want to lose anyone else."

"Don't worry." Emerald pulled Neo even closer and leaned forward a bit to whisper in her ear. "I'm not gonna leave you. Ever."

"I know. I love you, Emerald."

"I love you too."

* * *

 **AN** : Note that the author does in no way encourage, recommend or condone homicidal actions against your significant other as display of affection (or for any reason, really).

I got the idea from a comment on a RWBY thread on 4chan/u/ a bit ago, so now this is a thing. The original intent had been for an even more wacky, purely comedic story, but instead a bunch of romance snuck in (not that that's a bad thing, mind). Still, the whole thing runs on Rule of Funny, so in case of doubt... just don't think too hard about it. With thanks to Dongyrn for being my beta (and don't worry about the delay, man, it happens to the best of us).

As usual, I hope you like it, let me know what you think, etc.


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